Where do we go from here
by Sharaya
Summary: After the auction date... Nathan reconsiders his relationship with Haley and old feelings began to come back up to the surface when peyton has an emotional breakdown nhp triangle
1. Our Past is not forgotten

Chapter 1 "Our past is not forgotten"

Takes place after the auction during Nathan and Peyton date.

"You know for someone who treated me like crap before you've showed me a nice date" Peyton said smirking at Nathan. Nathan however didn't smile, he stood up and walked away from his bed. Peyton looked on worried

"What's wrong?...Nathan?" Peyton said in a worried voice

"I'm sorry Peyton" Nathan said turning back looking Peyton in the face

"About what?...Oh is this about what I said?(Nathan nodded).I didn't mean it to hurt you..." Peyton said in an apologetic voice

"No...you are right. It's been bugging me a lot(sits back on bed) I don't know but while we were dating I never felt guilty for anything I did, it was just something I had come to expect of myself... once I started dating Haley it change. I changed. I guess I'm just saying sorry I couldn't be the boyfriend good for you." Nathan said and a low voice

"You were a good boyfriend Nathan you weren't always a jerk. I did really like you a lot. but anyway how's it going with you and Haley?" Peyton said changing the uncomfortable subject. Nathan smiled

"Good...Great...Perfect, A little too perfect you know. It just seems like something's going to go wrong eventually and that I'm going to have something to do with it. I mean I'm not the smartest guy." 

"you got that right" Peyton said smiling, Nathan threw a pillow at her

"No really...I picture Haley with one of those book worms... who are destined to be doctors are teachers or whatever job you go to school way to long for" Nathan smiles..

"Nathan... are you aware that you're "Nathan Scott" you're not just a nobody. Ask anyone at school" Peyton said reassuring him

"I guess, Hey it's midnight I guess I owe you a kiss by auction rules.." Nathan said as he moved in on Peyton and kissed her. "Thanks Peyton...for everything" Nathan said just as his cell phone rang.. it was Haley calling. She was down stairs

"Hey come on up stairs I missed you" Nathan said while waving good bye to Peyton

The next day at school Peyton found herself wondering around the lunchroom not knowing where to sit. Her and Brooke where not talking.. so the cheerleaders table was out of the question. Lucas was a possibility but she wasn't in the mood for the evil stares Brooke would give her from across the room. Soon looking through the crowd she found Haley and Nathan. Haley waved her over and Peyton joined them. Something felt different about this...all 3 of them have hung out before so what was wrong? Nathan, Peyton and Haley all didn't realize what was in store for them...

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So what do you think, this story is basically going to be focused on the triangle between Haley, Nathan, Peyton. Review Please :)


	2. So Confused

Chapter 2 "So confused"

After school during Cheer Leading/basketball practice. Lucas was still injured so he sat in the crowd with Haley who attended practice to keep him company and watch her man in action.

"Haley can I ask you something?" Lucas asked

"Sure...wait is it about Peyton?" Haley said as if reading his mind

"Yes... I just want to know how she's doing. It's not easy being on bad terms with your best friend(Lucas smiles at Haley)"

"She's doing okay... I think... you know Peyton she's not the most open person with her feelings. Nathan and I have been hanging out with her. I'm worried about her and I'll tell her you are too" Haley says while Lucas nods thankfully

"Well practice is over... I'll see you later Luke(hugs him)" Haley sits up and runs over to Nathan who wraps her up into a long hug

"Wait for me outside okay... I need to talk to someone real quick.." Nathan said, Haley kissed him and began to walk away but Nathan pulled her back in kissed her one more time. They smiled and Haley proceeded to leave the gym. Nathan watched her walked away then walked over to Peyton who was getting her cheerleading stuff together. 

"Long day huh?" Nathan said noticing the depressed look on her face, before Peyton could respond Brooke passed by them and rolled her eyes and said " You don't waste anytime do you.. Nathan...Lucas... is it time for Nathan again already?" Brooke didn't stay around for a response. Peyton pushed her hair and sighed.

"Peyton...I'm sorry, she'll come around... in the mean time, You need a ride home?" Nathan asked and soft nice tone

"Yeah, Thanks" Nathan put his arm around Peyton and walked her outside. They met up with Haley who was a little surprised to see her. They all got in the car a drove off.

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The next day at school.... Nathan was talking to Tim in the locker room

"Are you still playing around with that Haley chick" Tim asked in a joking tone

"What do you mean?" Nathan said while changing into his gym shorts

"I mean...look Nathan what is this? about are you serious? That girl is so not your type. You're a playa Nate." Tim said while Nathan began to look very uncomfortable. 

"Playa? Shut up Tim. Haley she's cool you know... She's nice and makes me feel good yup..." Nathan said in defense while lacing up his sneakers.

"Whatever man, what ever happen to Nathan, this girl has got you whipped. You could do whatever you wanted with Peyton, you was able to walk all over her. Not at first but after while... what you had with her was good you should get that back" Tim said, he closed his locker door and left. Nathan just slumped down on the bench in the locker room confused.

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Nathan went to Peyton house later on that day... He went up to her bed room and knocked on the door. She let him in.

"Hey you, what are you doing here?" Peyton asked very surprised

"I need your help. When we first got together you would say I was a fairly good guy right?" Nathan said nervously

"Yeah great...but like I said Nathan you never stopped being a good..." Peyton was cut off by Nathan

"So what changed Peyton? Why did I change? I was talking to Tim today and he"

"Wait, you was talking to Tim about relationships? that's your first mistake(smirks)"

"No really Peyton What if I turn into that Nathan again. Once I get too comfortable" Nathan said plopping himself on her bed

"That's ridiculous...um Nathan hope this doesn't come out rude but why'd you come to me for advice? and why are you freaking out over nothing?" Peyton asked confused

"I don't know...Besides Haley there aren't much girls I could go to about this stuff... And Me and Haley.. I mean Haley and I... sort of exchanged the big three words..." Nathan said kind of avoiding eye contact. Nathan was waiting for a response but Peyton sort of logged out... she slumped down and didn't say anything. Until she looked up at Nathan and she snapped back into the world.

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Okay Next chapters should be better. I have stuff planned but it's hard to kind of get there ... so hope you still like it a little bit. r/r


	3. It's happening again

Chapter 3 "It's happening again"

"Oh really? that's great" Peyton pushed the words out her mouth. Nathan gave her a funny look knowing that what she said was complete crap.

"If this is making you uncomfortable I'll leave" Nathan said trying to not push the subject on his ex... Peyton looked away for a second and looked back at Nathan.

"You know it's just weird that's all. not the I love you part, just the fact that well it really doesn't matter does it Nate...So tell me everything...and I mean everything." Peyton said smiling. She went over to her computer desk and pulled out the chair for him to sit in. He began speaking and she just listened inserting witty comments now and then. An hour later Nathan decided it was time to go home. As he was walking out Peyton stopped him.

"Not to sound unappreciative of the time you been spending with me lately what's the real deal behind it. I know I'm cool but not that cool(smiles)" Peyton said while handing Nathan his Jacket.

"I know you've had a hard time lately and you needed a friend. Plus I guess I just missed having you around once and a while. The guys would think I'm totally whipped if I told them half the stuff I told you" Nathan said zipping up his jacket.

"There not the only ones who'd think that(starts laughing) Tell Haley I said hi or to give me a call ok?" Nathan nodded and walked out the door. Peyton looked around the empty room and splattered on her bed.

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When Nathan got to his home Haley was there watching tv. When she saw him walk through the door she hurried and ran over to where he was and planted a big kiss on him. She walked him over and they both sat down. Nathan stole the remote from Haley and turned to a basketball game. Haley just looked at him and playfully hit him...

"I called you earlier by the way. where were you?" Haley asked sitting up to go to the kitchen. Nathan took the phone out his pocket noticing he had 2 missed calls.

"Oh I must have had my phone off. I stopped by Peyton house. Oh yeah she said for you to call her. She's all alone over there. Her dad is gone for a while and Brooke hasn't come around. I don't want her to fall apart she's come so far since(hesitates)...well anyway what you want to do tonight? I'm bored" Nathan said while flipping channels. Haley got quiet. She waved the paranoid concerns she began to have off. Peyton was just his friend now. She began feeling proud that Nathan was so concerned and caring of Peyton.

"You said she's come so far...so far since what?" Haley asked a bit worried.

"Nothing...nothing" Nathan repeated twice. Haley wasn't sure she should let it go but she did. She walked back into the living room. She looked at Nathan and thought to herself how cute he was. She walked over to him and sat on top of him starting to kiss him.

"I know.... something we ....could do" Haley said in-between kisses

"Well yeah that's always fun" Nathan said getting into a more comfortable position.

That night in Peytons bedroom the rain from outside started to thicken. The sound of the drops was becoming louder and more noticeable. Peyton looked out the window wondering what was going on with her life. Her best friend hated her.. the guy she loved she couldn't have...she missed Lucas a lot and Nathan went and found true happiness. nothing seemed to fall in place in her life. She walked to the bath room and grabbed the nearest razor. She held it to her wrist for 10 seconds staring at it... wanting every inch of the razor to rip it's self through her skin. She looked up at he mirror and started to cry as she let the razor fall out her hand. she sat on the bath room floor crying. She crawled over to the phone and called Nathan cell phone. He picked up.

"Peyton do you know what time it is...." Nathan noticed he heard crying on the other side of the phone and got silent.

"It's happening to me again" Peyton said. Nathan immediately sat up.

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a/n-It's been a long time since I updated. I decided to take this story in a little different direction then at first. You'll get an explanation for the end of the chapter in the next. But this is very much still going to be focus on the nathan/haley/peyton triangle.


	4. Roommates

Chapter 4 "Roommates"

"What's happening again...Hello?" Nathan wasn't recieving any responses, just sobs at the other end. He sat there in the dark studying the sobs as if reading through her tears. He wait patiently his heart pounding deeper with deep concerns. Peyton pulled herself together

"I almost cut myself, I'm so scared...Nathan? Nathan you there?" This time Nathan didn't respond. He sat there rubbing his forehead, He hoped she wasn't talking about that. He noticed he hadn't answered and quickly thought of something to say.

"Okay Peyton, Just go lay down okay. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Lay down and turn on some music. Anything soothing remember" Nathan listened for the okay and than hung up. He quickly put on some shoes. Nathan didn't worry about clothes, he still had on shorts and a T-shirt. When he arrived at Peyton house her front door was unlocked so he made his way up to her room. he looked over to see Peyton had fell to sleep. Nathan looked at her room as if he had never been there before. He noticed all sorts of new things, sketched hanging up he never saw and wall colors he never noticed. Nathan noticed the phone on the floor and tried picking it up but it slipped making a big thumping noise on the floor. apperently it had awoken Peyton because she called out to him.

"Trying to brake my phone?" She said smiling, collecting eye focus, Nathan returned her smile. He walked over and sat next to her. He rubbed her arm gently.

"Are you okay now? Tell me everything" Peyton noticed his serious tone and the worried expression he gave her. She sat up and began to speak.

A few months after Peytons mom died she began having these attacks. Attacks of rage, uncontrolable anger that she began to take out on herself. She began taking any razor and cutting herself whenever the anger became to much to handle. One night Nathan stopped by her house to drop off a C.D he borrowed to find her bleeding on the floor. It was one of the scariest moments of her life. He made her go see a therapist once a week(very reluctantly). no one else new of this except Brooke and Nathan and they never told. Never need to because Peyton hadn't had a serious urge since...until tonight. Peyton told Nathan the whole story. He didn't say a word

"Nathan honestly, it was just a fall back. It isn't uncommon, I swear things like this has happened before but I never do it, I never will IM not that person anymore" Peyton said trying to make a shaken up Nathan understand.

"So why you never called? Why only tonight"

"I don't know. I just thought of you this time. Brooke is usually around and well you know. I'm sorry I woke you up but I swear to you I'm okay." Peyton said noticeing Nathan face start to lighten up.

"Okay...you know what?" Nathan said as if he just got a spark of inspiration. "You should come stay with me... until your dad comes home" Peyton studied his face for signs that he was kidding...but to her surprise he was serious

"Are you kidding me?" Peyton said shoving him slightly

"No... No I'm serious it would make me feel better knowing you had company and I could use a roommate at the house. Hey its only Temporary" Nathan said trying hard to convinced.

"This is crazy...but something pulling me to say yeah" she gave him a funny look and then came up with an answer "Okay...wait...what about Haley?" she said a bit worried

"She'll be glad, she's always talking about you. I don't think she'll mind. so come on. You can come over tomorrow." Nathan "Now get some sleep it's been a long night" He walked over and gave her a hug "C'ya tomorrow". It all happened to fast. Peyton didn't really have time to process everything. she laid in her bed staring at the ceiling feel a feeling of satisfaction, of being wanting... A feeling missing just 2 hours ago. This time when she went to sleep peacefully.

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The next morning Haley came and stopped by Nathan apartment. She did her cute knock on the door, he immediately knew it was her. He opened the door and wrapped herself around him. She kissed him as he started to lose his balance they fell backwards onto the couch..but it didn't seem to stop the kissing. Suddenly the Bathroom dorr opened and Peyton walked in. Looking a shocked at first, the even became laughable. She let out a slight giggle.

"Don't you think it's to early for this" She said laughing. Haley jumped up off of Nathan wich she had pinned down to the couch.

"Peyton?" Haley said surprised. She wiped her lips and straighten up. "I didnt know you were um here..." Haley was noticeably imbaressed. It was a rather funny sight, Nathan caught himslef from laughing. Peyton smiled then grabbed her coat off the hook.

"Do you want me to get anything for the place, Im going to the store." peyton asked opening up the front door.

"Yeah get some cereal"

"We have plenty I saw this morning in the cabinet"

"There's no more now" He said rubbing his tummy smirking

"Pig..." She shouted to him. He gave her the _"What do you expect look"_ As she left out the door. Haley just stood there a bit confused. All types of questions was running through her head. Without her saying anything he put her questions to rest.

"Before you totally tackled me when coming in...which I don't mind by the way. I was going to tell you Peytons going to be staying her for a little while, just until her dad comes back" Nathan tone in voice was so nonchalant it made Haley almost wonder why she was angry, nervous and still confused. She was tired of holding it in, he was not just hanging out with his ex girlfriend now...she was living with him and Haley was going crazy inside.

"WHAT!" A angry Haley said taking Nathan by surprise.

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a/n- Okay next chapter we'll get some concerns out of Haley, some Nathan/Peyton past thoughts. This chapter was basically to set up things to come. and sorry for the lack of updates. r/r


	5. The letter

Chapter 5 "The Letter"

"Whoa...Hales are you okay?" Nathan said sitting up. Haley just walked a few feet away from him before answering.

"Okay Nathan... Why is she living here! First you are out all day with her, Second she's hanging out with us almost everyday and then I find your ex girlfriend by the way living with you. Do you want me to be happy? She already has a place to live Nathan. She screwed up with Brooke and Lucas, you can't hold her hand and keep her safe. she's living with the consequences of screwing her friend over.." Haley let out a deep sigh after that and Nathan looked a bit confused.

"Haley listen to me okay. First of all "this girl" is Peyton it wouldn't hurt saying her name now and then. Second I'm worried about her and I know you are too. I'm just trying to be a good person. This isn't about Me spending time with Peyton, This is about your insecurities with us. So please don't take this out on Peyton and understand that I love you Hales and no ex girlfriend can possibly change what we mean to each other." Nathan Stood up and walked over to Haley which had her back turned to him. He hugged her from behind, his grip was tight and he wasn't going to let go until he knew Haley was okay.

"I'm...sorry" Haley said biting her lower lip... afraid to look Nathan in the eyes. He let go of the hug and faced her...

"Are we cool now?" Nathan asked although deep down already knowing the answer. He waited for her to give him a nod before giving her a kiss. However Haley insecurities didn't vanish in a minute. That whole night while with Nathan she felt a bit on end. She didn't want to feel this way, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to lose Nathan...she couldn't. He was everything she ever wanted and she knew losing him would be heart breaking

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They all hung out until Ten at night. Haley had to leave, she hadn't finished all her homework. Nathan tried to convince her to stay...but in the end he failed. Four hours later at Two in the morning Nathan woke up and decided to go get something to drink.. To his surprise Peyton was up on the couch looking through a bunch of papers with little note books scattered around her.

"Peyton do you know what time it is" He said while wiping his eyes, adjusting his vision. Peyton didn't look up.

"Yeah well I couldn't sleep, so what's better then going through the past when there is nothing else to do. " She searching through more papers. When she got to a certain one she laughed slightly. Nathan looked on confused...Peyton finally lifted up her head...noticing his unawareness she handed him the paper.

"Remember that" She smiled as he read the paper.

"_I think you're really Pretty. if you didn't already know...you are pretty hot. Do you want to be my date for the dance circle yes or no and give the note to Me or Tim_" Nathan folded back up the letter after reading it he was laughing at himself.

"I was such a dork, did I really tell you to circle yes or no.. Oh god" Nathan said quite embarrassed. He was fully awake now remembering the past.

"What grade was this? Wait a minute...7th grade right. I remember cause I never did get the note back" Nathan said throwing the note back at Peyton who couldn't help but continue laughing. She brushed some of the papers to the side to make room for him to sit down.

"Yeah well, I was to mature to respond to such a letter or at least that's what Brooke convinced me" she said laughing "But I liked you, Its just that well I was stupid. As you see I changed my mind the next year" She said looking through more papers.

"Yeah, That was one of my favorite summers too. I had a girl friend, we were about to go to high school...I remember being so happy. and I promised myself I would be so cool to make up for well all of jr. high"

"You're kidding me right Nathan?...We both know why you loved that summer so much. You finally got lucky."

"Well yeah that too....I was trying not to mention it because it would have been great with or without that. it couldn't have gotten better...We were together. and I mean it, I'm not hitting on you are anything" Nathan began laughing...Peyton returned his laughter "you mind if I look at some stuff?" Peyton nodded yes and he started to look through some papers too. He picked one up, looking to see if he recognized it. As he began to read, he started to get uncomfortable. Peyton noticed Nathan silence and looked over. He put the note back in the pile and stood up.

"Where you going?'

"To bed, I'm going to give it another shot" Nathan looked more like he was avoiding being in there than actually wanting to go to sleep. Peyton shrugged it off though. She looked as Nathan closed his room door and went back to the letters. She picked up the one Nathan had put down and read it.

"OH...that explains it" She whispered under her breath. She let out a sigh of disappointment. She looked at his room door and wanted to go in and talk about the letter but she was scared now. She wondered what he was thinking and why he just walked out without saying anything. She leaned back on the couch and twirled her blonde locks for about 5 minutes before deciding to go talk to Nathan. Her nerves caught up with her halfway to his room and decided that the talking to him in the morning sounded much better.

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A/N- hope you enjoyed the chapter. r/r


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